My life purpose is creating more love in the world. It took me a l-o-n-g time to come out of the “love closet” so to speak, and fully claim this as my soul’s purpose. I’ve been referred to as “Cindy Love”, “The Love Goddess” and “The Intuitive Heart Guide”.
Since I was little, I’ve been sprinkling love in the world in many ways. And today, I wanted to give you a way to see how you might be getting in the way of receiving all the love you want.
You can try to change or control the people or circumstances around you, but it won’t last. Before long, you’ll be back in the same lonely place you are today.
Let me give you an example. Maybe you desire more respect from your partner or boss. Or, maybe it’s more compassion and less judgment from others.
It can be frustrating not feeling respected and seen by others. Trying to prove your worth to others can be exhausting too!
Yet, what if the people and circumstances around you were reflecting back to you how you felt about yourself?
I believe the fastest way to receiving respect and compassion from others begins with respecting yourself and having compassion for YOU.
How well do you respect yourself? How easy is it for you to forgive yourself? How easy is it to turn self-judgment and self-criticism around into self-compassion and understanding?
Take a moment now and get curious with me. When you make a “mistake” or do something you are not proud of, how do you talk to yourself? Do you speak to yourself from a critical place or from a nurturing place of forgiveness and compassion?
Compassion, forgiveness, respect and love MUST come from within you first. When you make the changes from within, the world around you reflects that change. When you respect yourself, the world respects you in return. And those that don’t, leave.
Of course, compassion and respect are only two pieces of self-love. I’ve created a list below of a few important ways we all can learn to love ourselves. Today is a great day to pause and check in with yourself, to see where your Self-Love foundation is weak.
Ignite Your Love Checklist
Take a moment now and look over the list below. Read each statement aloud and feel (notice I didn’t say think) into a number between 0 – 10. Giving yourself a 0 would mean, “This is not true for me at all” and giving yourself a 10 would mean, “This is a 100% true statement for me”.
____ I trust myself to make conscious choices for an authentic and fulfilling life.
____ When asked to do something that is not in alignment with what I desire, I am able to say “No”.
____ I set and honor firm and consistent boundaries.
____ I easily create and receive experiences that give me joy.
____ I speak to myself with a nurturing voice and treat myself in a loving and patient way.
____ It’s natural for me to forgive myself.
____ I am free to express myself fully without apologizing, holding back, or playing safe.
____ I make choices that respect and honor my values.
____ I do not blame others, play the victim or make excuses when things don’t turn out the way I desire.
____ I have a strong belief in myself and the confidence to do anything I want.
____ I listen to and follow the guidance of my inner voice (gut) over the fear in my head or what others may think.
____ I like and appreciate myself and lovingly acknowledge all the ways I am uniquely me.
____ I know my value. I am enough and am loved for just being me.
____ I am aware of my impact on others, both positive and negative.
____ I take care of myself. I make sure I get what I need on all physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels.
____ I know happiness is an inside job and I consciously do the inner work to create a happy life.
____ I easily receive from an abundant and grateful heart.
What area of your life could use more self-love?
So, how’d you do with this simple, self-love assessment? How does it feel to look over your numbers?
Pick one statement that scored low and has the greatest impact on you and your life. The statement you would like to shift. Then, do the following exercise. (TIP: To make the most of this, you’ll want to journal your answers)
Taking one statement at a time, ask yourself the following questions:
- How could this be impacting my happiness?
- How might this be impacting my relationships?
- How might this be impacting my health and well-being?
- What else in my life could this be impacting?
- What beliefs are keeping me here?
- What am I afraid of?
- How might this have been role-modeled for me from an adult in my life?
- What is the story I tell myself about this? Is it true? If I think it’s true, how do I know it’s true?
- If I turned this around, how might my life be different?
- What’s something I can do today to take me closer to a 10?
- Can I do this alone or would it be easier with support?
The first step to changing anything is to notice the ways you are sabotaging your success. In my practice, I refer to these as your blind spots. The statements above that you gave the lowest number to are a few of your blind spots. We just shined a light upon them so hopefully, they are not so blind anymore.
Stay awake! Notice when you get triggered and react in a less than self-loving way. Acknowledge the impact this is having on you and on your relationships. Forgive yourself and try again.
With practice, your foundation for true love and lasting relationships will become strong. And your whole world will reflect that too.