Please share your experience and thoughts with me below. Thanks!Please share your experience and thoughts with me below. Thanks!Clearing your external clutter helps create an environment that sustains you, feels good and feeds your soul. Yet, there is another form of clutter that keeps you stuck from the life you so desire… your internal clutter.

What is internal clutter?

Do you believe that life is hard? Do you find yourself thinking ‘this is just the way it is’? Are you afraid of being judged? Do you compare yourself to others? Do you find things happening to you that are out of your control? Are you surrounded by drama?

Internal clutter keeps you trapped by your limitations and lack of choices. It is ego based and gripped in fear. It keeps you stuck right where you are, from the passionate life you so desire.

Some examples of internal clutter are:

• * Negative dialog. It lives in your head. It is there to object to change, point out your weaknesses and failures, and cite reasons for holding back. Common words are should, can’t, need, must, ought to and won’t.
• * Toxic emotions including, but not limited to, guilt, blame, jealousy, self-pity, martyr, entitlement and victim. These emotions take away your personal power and keep you stuck in your “small story.”
• * Excuses. They help you to avoid being responsible. They leave you feeling powerless, never letting you get to where you want to go.
• * Righteous positions. We don’t want to admit that we are wrong, even if it makes us unhappy. How often do you defend yourself, rationalizing reasons why you made the choice you did, even if it was not a good choice? Do you hold grudges or resentment against others? Do you refuse to forgive? Ask yourself, “Do I want to be right or happy?”
• * Self-defeating behaviors. Saying you want to do something (lose weight) and then doing something different (buying chips), distracts you from the life you desire.
• * The need for approval or being offended. Are you easily offended? This is just another person’s opinion. You have a choice to accept it or go on. Remember, your feelings are not somebody else’s fault. Hold up an invisible mirror and reflect it back to where it came. Someone else’s opinion is none of your business.
• * Comparing yourself to others, your need to win, be better than or to have more. This is what I call “false esteem” and in all of these examples, it is driven by your ego. You are not your things or your winnings. You are not the other person. When you give your power over to your things and accomplishments, what happens to your self-esteem when you lose your stuff or your title?
• * Unfinished business. Not forgiving others or giving closure to a circumstance hangs over your head like a weight. This can actually suck the life out of you.
• * Dishonesty. This is the part of you that feels entitled to go outside the “rules.” You believe you are “special” justifying and rationalizing the rules are for others.
• * Denial. Denial tells us “I can get away with this a little longer” or “No one will know.” But you know. How many times are you willing to swear off those destructive behaviors and still not change?

All of these above behaviors erode your self-esteem and keep you feeling powerless.

The first step to changing these behaviors is to NOTICE when you do them. This week, consciously recognize when you are choosing to add this drama into your life. How does it feel? Be honest. Keep a journal and write it down.

The second step is acknowledge how this is affecting your life… your relationships, your marriage, your career, your health, your happiness. What is the cost? How is this holding you back from the life you desire?

The third step is to forgive yourself. We are only human. A wise man once said: “There are no mistakes only lessons. And lessons are repeated until they are learned.” Slow it down, pull it apart, feel the impact, forgive yourself and ask, “How could I do this differently?” Compassion is key.

The Buddhists speak of “Beginners Mind.” Be willing to see through new “eyes” and have compassion for yourself and others.

Practice silencing the above clutter and you will notice a peacefulness take place within yourself. You will start to love and respect yourself and when that happens, everything changes around you. You will experience more peace, love and respect reflecting back to you.

It is a matter of BEING peaceful and loving rather than looking for peace and love outside of you. When you own it within yourself, your whole world shifts.

As with ridding your home of its external clutter, letting go of your internal clutter feels good and it’s a lot more fun!

Please share your experience and thoughts with me below. Thanks!