Who’s in the Driver’s Seat of Your Life?

I’ve noticed lately that the ego has gotten a bad rap. It’s been blamed for everything from lust, greed, power, indulgence and envy. As humans we all have one. It lives in our head and is a part of us.

I believe when used responsibly, our positive ego is our ally.

Let’s say you’re ready to leave an uninspiring job. You know the job’s not right for you because you don’t want to get up in the morning, you’re unhappy with your co-workers and don’t share the companies values. So what do you do?

Your ”positive ego” begins to gather valuable information. You check out the job market and work on your resume. You begin talking to trusted friends, asking questions and gathering information. You review and determine your financial resources and find out how long you can survive with what’s in your cash reserves. You begin to make calculated choices based on your facts or “clean” information.

Your “negative ego” creates threats and grand promises. Your negative ego might want you to believe the grand promises of, “When I leave here all my problems will disappear,” or “They’ll come begging for me to return.” Or then again, it loves giving threats of, “I’m too old to find another job.” “My credentials aren’t good enough.” “I’ll never make this kind of money again.” “How can I risk losing my benefits?” “There’s probably nothing out there for me and if there is, there are more qualified people applying.” “What if something happens? I won’t be able to pay my mortgage and I’ll have to go and live with my mother!” Facts? I think not.

Welcome to the two faces of our ego.

Our ego lives in the logical, linear world of our head. Our healthy ego supplies us with valuable information so we can make choices in the physical world. As long as it’s giving us “clean” information, our ego is our ally.

But our ego is not equipped to go beyond a linear perspective. Our ego becomes negative when we ask it to go beyond the job of gathering information and let it begin interpreting the information. That’s where we get into trouble. As it interprets, it begins to spin a web of stories that are all made up. It creates drama and becomes afraid.

Your negative ego feeds on toxic, false emotions such as worry, pity, jealousy, and victim, comparing yourself to others and even blaming yourself or others for something you have or have not done. It does not feel comfortable in your body.

Below are four steps to making good choices

1. Gather “clean” information. Get the facts. The facts are an important tool in making powerful choices.
2. When the stories emerge (and they will), ask yourself, “Is this true? How do I know it is true?” Go back to the facts. Notice when you go into drama and it’s accompanying toxic/false emotions that are not based on facts and stop.
3. Drop out of your head and into your heart or your deeper Self. Get quiet and listen to the whispers of your intuition. Watch for synchronistic events and people showing up in your life. Collect the information through journaling. What can you TRUST through your inner guidance and how does it feel in your body? Let your heart be in the driver’s seat.
   
4. Stay awake! Continue to pay attention and notice. Get curious and slow things down as you awaken to the faces of your ego. Simply noticing is a powerful tool.

Put your heart in the driver’s seat and your healthy ego in the passenger’s seat. It’s a powerful combination for navigating through life.