Happiness is an Inside Job!

Have you ever found yourself struggling to make the right decision? You may notice there’s a part of you that wants to say “yes,” when another part deep inside cries “no.” Or maybe, your “head” tries to rationalize the reasons why you should make this choice, but somewhere deep inside isn’t quite sold on the idea and you’re not sure why.

I’ve discovered an amazing tool to help me get clarity around making the right choice for myself. I call it my “Happiness Meter.”

My Happiness Meter is inside of my body and it measures how I am feeling in that moment. For example, when an opportunity to go somewhere or spend time with someone arises, I drop out of my head and into my heart and check in with my “Happiness Meter.” It gives me a reading between 0 and 10 — 0 being not happy at all and 10 being full happiness. For me, if my reading is under 7 or 8, I say “no thank you.”

Although many have forgotten how to use it, there is a happiness meter inside each of us. It is right in there next to our intuition. As children we know it well, but forget it as we develop. We stop trusting in this inner wisdom and instead ask our head for advice. In other words, we put our ego in charge.

Examples of this are when we compare ourselves with others, try to earn approval or do it “right,” to prove, to win, to manipulate or control. We think if we can just get “there” then that will bring us happiness. The truth is, doing or getting those things never makes us happy, at least not for long. Happiness is an inside job!

It’s important to note that some choices, like going to the dentist, may not be fun or fulfilling in the moment. But when you stop the chatter in your head and drop into your gut or heart you know the long-term benefit is happiness.

I had a client this week who requested coaching around whether or not to go to a social event. It would have been a well-attended event and she thought it would have been a good chance to network for new clients. Just by the fact that she wanted help around deciding to go or not, gave me some good information. Listening to her talk, I could feel it was going to be an effort. Something she thought she “should” do.

Does this sound familiar?

The next time you have an important decision to make, follow these three steps to connect with your Happiness Meter:

1. Ask yourself, “Why am I making this choice?” Am I excited and passionate about this choice or is it something I believe I “should” do. When you find yourself explaining the reasons why you are doing something, stop. You are in your head.

2. Drop into your body and take a reading. “How does it feel?” Doing it because you should, for the approval of others, or to control or manipulate will feel tight or constricting. If it’s the right choice, it feels light and fulfilling. Can you feel the difference?

In my client’s case, if she went feeling less than excited or enthused, what energy or resonance would she be sharing with others when she got there? If she went without enthusiasm, only wanting something from the event, what energy would people feel from her?

3. Instead of looking outside yourself and trying to make things happen, drop inside and ask “What would I enjoy doing? What would give me an 8 or above on my Happiness Meter? What would feel good?” When you get clear with what you desire and discover ways to bring you higher, lighter emotions such as thrill, love and joy, you will attract more thrill, love and joy to you.

In my client’s case, I asked her to remember a time when she had fun networking and connecting with potential clients. I could feel her energy shift as she talked about hosting a “Bring a Friend, wine and nibbles party” at her house to introduce new people to her work. The evening was extremely successful and she loved putting it on. Now THAT was an 8 or above! When you feel good, you create and attract more of the same.

The “Happiness Meter” is a tool or gauge to help you drop out of your head and into your heart, feel your way to making choices that are right for you. You feel energized because those heart-based choices are in alignment with you.

The key to finding your heart’s desire is connecting with what feels good inside of your body and not listening to the voice in your head. The more you use the “Happiness Meter,” the better you will become at this!