Please share your experience and thoughts with me below. Thanks!Do you beat yourself up for making wrong choices?

Several years ago, my client Judy befriended someone who was looking for an investor for a business venture. Judy connected to this person and wanted to help. Without doing proper due diligence, she agreed to the business partnership and loaned him the money. Two years later she realized this was not a good business decision after all and had to declare bankruptcy.

How do you react when you realize you have made a costly “mistake”?

Do you feel stupid? Do you beat yourself up? Do you feel like a victim? Are you resentful and filled with anger or even self-pity? Do you say, “How could this happen to me?” Or maybe it’s not the first time something like this has happened to you so you’re saying,“I can’t believe I did it again!”

How do you feel in your body? Tight, constricted, maybe even a little sick?

Maybe it’s something that’s happened with a family member, a spouse, an ex-partner, or a friend. It doesn’t matter. We all do it in our life. We usually call these “mistakes” and hold onto them as we mentally “beat up” others and ourselves.

Does holding onto anger and resentment make you feel better? Never.

Now, come with me for a higher perspective. From this higher place, I’d like you to consider looking at your situation from “Why is this happening TO me?” to “Why is this happening FOR me?”

What if this incident or person was in your life for a reason? What if you were to look at what happened not as a mistake but as a lesson?

How could this other person be your teacher instead of your curse? What could this situation be telling you about yourself? And if this lesson were learned, how would your life be different? How could you be changed … possibly forever?

The fact is, by looking at this situation from this higher perspective, it could help make your life a lot more peaceful and “problem” free.

Judy stayed in her “small story” for years, beating herself up for being so“stupid,” and cursing this other person over and over in her head.

When she came to me, I helped her see how beating herself up was damaging her self-esteem and keeping her stuck in her drama and story. I helped her reach, instead, for compassion and trust.

She learned how to take a “higher perspective.”

When she did, we uncovered a part of her who was lonely and looking to be loved. This part of her believed if she took care of this other person, then maybe this other person would take care of her.

Not a good reason to loan money.

This was all subconscious, of course. She wasn’t deliberately doing this. Yet in a sense, she was manipulating this person with her money so this person would take care of her.

She was making choices for all the wrong reasons and they were leaving her feeling angry, resentful, and even more alone. Just the opposite of what she desired.

Once she recognized this, her life began to shift.

Instead of beating herself up, she reached for compassion. From here it was easy to forgive, both herself and the other person.

Today, my client has the tools to take care of herself. She now knows how to give herself everything she was (subconsciously) looking for from others. The drama is gone. She knows how to love, support, and nurture herself.

Big lesson. Great teacher. Big learning. Incredible shift.

Is there a situation or person in your life keeping you miserable?
Are you stuck in the small story of, “Why is this happening TO me”?
Do you believe life is hard?
Are you holding onto emotions of anger, frustration, confusion or blame?

If so, I invite you to go to the higher perspective. Look for the lessons and the teachers in your life. We all have them. They are there for a reason.

Trust in the process.

This is one key to unlocking the door to more peace, compassion, trust, hope, connection, and love in your life.

Where is the drama in your life? What are you holding onto that’s not serving you anymore? Are you willing to look at this from a higher perspective? If so, I’d love to be your guide.

Please share your experience and thoughts with me below. Thanks!