Turning Fear Into Love

You say you want a happier life.  One filled with more love.   More gratitude.  More joy.   But change can be scary. You’ll have to put yourself out there.  You’ll have to take risks.  You’ll have to try something new.

If you’re like most, your heart says “yes” yet your head gives you all the reasons why you can’t.

Now, before I give the head a bad rap, I need to say this.   I believe it’s important to lead with your head or rational, linear mind when you are managing money, arranging time on your calendar, getting from point “A” to point “B”, even learning a specific language or skill.

Yet, when you expect your rational mind to go beyond the job of gathering information and ask it to interpret or do something with this information that’s not rational or linear, that’s exactly where we get into trouble.  What we’re asking it to do is not fact based anymore.  Because it’s not based in facts it doesn’t know what to do, so it begins to spin stories of “What ifs?”.  These stories and lies are based in fear.   Fear of the unknown.

Ironically, the fear in your head is actually coming as a form of love. Your fear or your head, is actually trying to keep you safe.   Unfortunately, in keeping you safe it’s also keeping you stuck and living small.  Like a deer in headlights you’re unable to move forward.

If you want to live a bigger life, you must learn to know when and how to drop out of your head and into your heart.

Your heart is what I refer to as your Wise Self.  Your intuition lives here as well as compassion, gratitude, connection and passion, just to name a few.  Your heart calls you forth to something bigger than living in a linear world.  It allows you to live the life you dream of. 

Your heart is connected to your Soul. It helps you to connect to your purpose, to stretch and grow from a place of courage, love, hope, faith and trust.  

The next time you find yourself stuck in worry, doubt or fear, thank your head for its input and quickly drop into your heart.

Below are some techniques and tools my clients and I use to help us shift from our head and reconnect to our heart.

1. Do an act of service.  Service to others takes you away from worry, fear and doubt and drops you into a place of compassion, giving, gratitude and joy.
2. Get up off your bum and move.  Work out or go for a walk or put on some music and dance.    
3. Listen to music.  The kind of music is important here.  Make sure it lifts you to a higher resonance or feeling.  Make sure it’s music that feels good.
4. Laugh out loud or say/do something silly.  Laughter really is the best medicine.  Rent a funny movie, read a book of jokes or hang out with a fun friend.
5. Spend time with family or a pet.  
6. Call a loved one or send them a card or gift.
7. Begin a gratitude journal.  This journal is only for photos and memories that bring you love and gratitude.  When you’re in your head or your heart is heavy, open it’s pages and let it lift you.
8. Get busy on a project you’ve been putting off.  One that really matters.  Complete it before the end of the day.
9. Clear clutter.  Getting rid of unloved items, broken objects and unfinished projects make room for something new to enter.
10. Use positive words.  Stop speaking negatively, and using sarcasm.  There’s a lot of energy in your words.  Notice what you are saying.   Speak words that take you where you want to go.  Choose words wisely.
11. See your fear as a younger version of yourself.  Just as you would have compassion for a small child, reach for compassion for this frightened part of you.  Mentally tell this part of you they are safe.  Then take a deep breath, drop into the body of your wisest, most grounded Self and let that part of you step forward and lead.

Sometimes it’s helpful to have a few handy self-love tools for those times you are taking a risk and don’t need the chatter of your fearful mind.  Below are a few of my favorites:

1. Carry a photo of someone you love in your purse or on your phone.  Gaze into the face of this photo and let them drop you into your heart.
2. Repeat a mantra or statement such as, “I choose love over fear.
3. Take in some nice deep breathes.  Breathe in clean white light feeling it absorb all tension and stress in your shoulders and stomach.  As you exhale, stay in your body and visualize the stress and fear leaving.  Continue breathing light into your heart.
4. Move your hips as you connect to the wisdom and love of Mother Earth. 
5. Put your hands on your heart and breathe deeply.
6. Say a prayer.   Silently ask for help.  There’s an incredible amount of power here.

Looking over this list, what feels good to you?  What spirals YOU up to more love, joy and hope?  It’s different for everyone.

The important thing is that you drop out of your head and into your heart.  By doing so it takes you away from worry, fear and doubt and allows you to be receptive to hope, possibilities and opportunities.  It gives you the courage and strength to move forward.

If you want to see changes in your life you’ll need to first change from within. I’d love to hear your thoughts on fear and love.  What helps you to shift? Where do you get stuck? Let me know in the comments below.