Who’s in the Driver’s Seat of Your Life?

Let’s say you’re ready to leave an uninspiring job that is not in line with your values.

Part of you knows how to gather valuable information, helping you to responsibly make this decision. From here, you check out the job market and work on your resume. You begin talking to trusted friends and determine your financial resources. From this place, you know how long you can survive with what’s in your cash reserves, making calculated choices based on your information.

Another part of you becomes afraid. This part of you begins thinking, “I’m too old.” “My credentials aren’t good enough.” “I’ll never make that kind of money again.” “How can I lose my benefits?” “There’s probably nothing out there and if there is, there are more qualified people applying.” “What if something happens? I won’t be able to pay my mortgage and I’ll have to go and live with my mother!”

Welcome to the two faces of our ego.

Our ego lives in the logical, linear world of our head. Our healthy ego supplies us with valuable information so we can make choices in the physical world. As long as it is giving us “clean” information, our ego is our ally.

But our ego is not equipped to go beyond a linear perspective. Our ego becomes wounded when we ask it to go beyond the job of gathering information and let it begin interpreting the information. That’s where we get into trouble. As it interprets, it begins to spin a web of stories that are all made up. It creates drama and becomes afraid.

Your wounded ego feeds on toxic, false emotions such as self-pity, worry, jealousy, and victim, maybe even blaming others or yourself for something you have or have not done.

So what do we do with all of this?

First of all, remember to get the facts. The facts are an important tool in making powerful choices.

When the stories emerge (and they will), ask yourself, “Is this true? How do I know it is true?” Go back to the facts. Notice when you go into drama and it’s accompanying toxic/false emotions. It’s your way of numbing out so you don’t have to take responsibility for something. It’s keeping you from feeling and being powerful.

Next, drop out of your head and into your heart. Let your heart be in the driver’s seat to interpret the information. Combining your heart with your healthy ego (in the passenger seat) is a powerful combination for navigating through life.

Take Action Now

The first step to living a powerful life is recognizing the different voices of the ego.

• Think of a situation that’s confusing you.
• What is the solid information about this situation that’s based on the facts? Notice how it feels to collect clean information and take action from this place?
• Now hear the voice of the wounded ego. Notice where your ego begins interpreting this information. It often makes threats and promises it cannot keep. It tries to prove and be better than, often based in fear and poverty consciousness. Its emotions are toxic ones such as self-pity, jealousy, blame and guilt. How does it feel to collect information from this place?

Pay attention… be kind to yourself. Remember, recognizing the difference is the first step.

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