Anxiety and stress can lead to a losing battle where it’s impossible to feel joy.

Stress and anxiety can happen to the best of us and it’s toll can affect us overnight or slowly over time. For me, beginning a new life in a new country definitely had its challenges. Friendless weeks, family thousands of miles away and holidays spent alone were a few of my joy-less moments.

Below are the top seven blind spots I see my clients fall into, causing them to stay stuck in challenging emotions:

#1 Comparing Yourself to Others: You are not the other person. Focus on yourself instead of wasting precious energy focusing on someone you cannot change. Comparing often leads to resentment.

Tip: Focus on your strengths and passions. Nobody has your unique talents and blessings. Do what you love and love what you do.

#2 Drama: Emotions such as jealousy, self-pity, frustration, worry, blame and overwhelm are keeping you spinning in drama.

Tip: Slow down. Smell the flowers. Watch a sunset. Notice the bird song in the morning and feel the sun on your face. Do something just for fun.

#3 Blame: Blaming sets you up to be a victim and renders you powerless over your circumstances. You cannot change if you play the victim.

Tip: Identify where you are blaming. Imagine how much more power and freedom you would have if you took responsibility for turning this around and moving forward yourself.

#4 Defending and Being Offended:  By doing so, you are creating more drama and wasting a lot of energy.

Tip: Stop “hitting the ball back.” Thank the other person for their opinion, change the subject or leave the room.

#5 Rehashing the Past: Like defending yourself, this is an exhausting energy waster. The past is over. Let it go and move on.

Tip: Practice Gratitude. Gratitude is what I refer to as a “generating emotion”. The more you feel grateful, the more you’ll create things to be grateful for. Make a habit of remembering 3-5 things you are grateful for every morning before you rise. It could change your life.

#6 Worrying: It has been said, “Worry is a prayer for something you don’t want.” – What you focus on expands. Instead ask, “Is this true? How do I know this is true?” If it is, take action. If not, let it go.

Tip: Get clear with where you want to go, not where you don’t want to go. What you give attention to increases in your life.

#7 Perfectionism and Control: Going after these two are like chasing after the pot-of-gold at the end of the rainbow. They are both an illusion and are often based in fear.

Tip: Replace fear with trust. Instead of striving, pushing and competing for what you want, get clear with what you desire and allow the perfect person or situation to come to you. Stay curious to the possibilities and opportunities around you.

Many of us think once the stressful person or situation changes, then we will feel peaceful and happy.

Happiness and peace live inside you.

When you create peace and happiness within yourself, almost like magic, the stress, anxiety and drama around you disappear.

The most important step to change is awareness. Slow things down and notice. You’ll be amazed at what these small steps can change.


Please share your experience and thoughts with me below. Thanks!

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